I'm embarrased to say...

A couple of months ago I explained to my husband why Girls Nights Out are so important. I shared with him that being with other women like me, who love me and are in similar life situations such as myself, make me feel normal. It is very easy to get into the day to day life with your family and spouse and start to feel like maybe you have a few screws loose. Something in the electrical box of your mind has blown a fuse. However, when you get together with others, you realize that no, everything is operational and working according to plan. The strange thoughts you have throughout the day are really not so strange. Quite the opposite, they prove that you actually have a functioning brain with opinions, strengths, weaknesses and the like. The things that I struggle with, others are either currently struggling with as well, while others have defeated the foe and have advice to give. As you see, these nights are vital to the survival of motherhood. Now, given what I have just shared with you about the friendship and the bonds that we share, please do not judge me as you read the following:

As you all know, I am a fairly level headed person. Very few things rile me up. I tend to see both sides of the situation and hesitate to judge lest I also be judged. I'm not one prone to anxiety, or general freakings out. However, this week, I had my first "episode" and for those of you who have had this before or experience them on a regular basis, my deepest and heartfelt sympathies go out to you.

I learned at the beginning of the week that a good friend of mine is unexpectedly pregnant. While I rejoice with my friends who have had babies or are expecting babies, I am secretly glad that I am not them. I have done my bit and brought two beautiful boys into the world. They are relatively well behaved and look good with Damon and I on a Christmas card. I enjoy the fact that I can go places with them and not bring large bags of supplies. They are fun to take on adventures and are likewise eager to experience life. Perhaps you may think I am lazy for not wanting to increase my family, for resting upon my laurels, as it were. Frankly, you can think whatever you like. I firmly believe that there are those who are born to be mothers of large families, and then there are those of us who fight to keep the few we have from killing each other and themselves while maintaining our own sanity. (As I write this, the boys are screaming at each other to "STOP IT!!")

But upon learning that my friend was pregnant, I went home, shared the info with my hubby and went to bed. I woke up later with a racing heart and extreme anxiety. Oh my holy H! What if that happened to me? I reasured myself that this could not be. I have taken appropriate measures and I wasn't even "late." I laid back down only to have the same incident happen repeatedly over the next couple of days. Sudden sweats, racing heart, light headedness and severe anxiety. My hands started to shake yesterday for no reason at all. It got so bad, I went to the Dollar Store last night and bought a pregnancy test (and a box of chocolate cookies). Even in crisis, I am still a cheap-o. Of course I brought it home, took it, and it was NEGATIVE. (Insert sigh of relief here.) While the heart calmed down, the shakes ceased and I got a full night of sleep, I now feel like a moron. However, I am a non-pregnant moron...

So, those of you who feel like I always have it together, put this post in your file of remembrance. And don't laugh; it could happen to you too...

Special Days

Over the last couple of weeks we've had some fun special days. One of them is Jonah's preschood graduation. The last three years have gone by so quickly. They all have for that matter. I just stared at him tonight while he read me a book. Read me a book!!! I wish I could take credit for it. But I have to give all the credit to him. He just decided he wanted to read and did it. I marvel at him and his brother constantly and can't believe that we are responsible for bringing them into the world. I pray that they live outside the box and make a big sweeping mark across the world.

We also had two very special birthdays: Buddie and Grandma Cindy!

We were very lucky to be able to spend the birthdays together, a treat that we get rarely and hopefully never take for granted. We love our Grandma's, even when they load up the kids with sugar right before they send them home to us, buy them obnoxious toys and tell them yes to pretty much everything. We love you and hope it always stays this way!

PS: Make a note: Never give Grandma the candles that re-light on their own. It only makes them angry and/or pass out. This is only fun if you enjoy either one of the above. And if you do, well, you're weird.

Get out of town!

There is a very good reason why I have not blogged in the last couple of weeks: Too busy! Fortunately, it has been fun busy and not drudgery busy. There is a difference, you know. Perhaps one of the funnest things we've done is take a Memorial Day trip to visit some of my family in Oregon. What a gorgeous place! So green, so lush, and they have an IKEA!!

Here is Cole being his absolutely cute self in one of the falls we hiked up during our mini vacation. Who cares that it is May; anytime is a great time to wear a "mummy" shirt!
One of our outings was to visit the Portland Zoo. Jonah was snacking on a bag of Mike and Ikes when he caught this bear's eye. I do believe he was thinking he had found a nice tasty snack, and a bag of candy to boot!
The Portland Zoo had a great lorakeet exhibit. For a small fee you could purchase a cup of juice that the birds like to eat and if you were patient enough, they would come and rest on your hand for a snack. Poor Jonah tried so hard, in vain, to get a bird to sit on his arm. However, Mom doing it was the next best thing.
While the grown ups, and I use that term loosely, went to scout IKEA (it was awesome!) Aunt Jan stayed back to watch the kids. Here she is teaching my children what she is learning in college.
This skill she was born with naturally...
Here is an actual unretouched photograph of Damon and I alone. Dang, are we good lookin' or what? The beautiful Columbia River is behind us. The rain held off for one whole day so our family could have a great day of hiking, playing and being together.
I have trained my children to respond accordingly when I pull out my camera. All I have to do is say "OK, be brothers" and they stop what they are doing, stand together and smile. Now, if I could just get them to put their dirty clothes in the hamper...
Our boys again, being brothers, in front of one of the many falls we visited.
Lots of sights means lots of driving. Here is Cole catching a few Zs in between adventures. There ain't no way he's giving up that box of crackers.

The boys again, nesting at the zoo.

What a great get-away! We couldn't have asked for a better time, better weather or better company.