OK. It is almost one a.m. I can't sleep because I just had a blow up with Damon's mom. I was so angry, I had to put my hands on my legs to hold them still because I was shaking so bad. I could sit here and tell you all of the awful things she said, and all the things I said back to her, which were all true and in strictly self-defense. However, all I can think of, is that I failed. I've been doing so great these last three months, and I blew it. I couldn't take one more accusation, one more negative comment and one more excuse for her own failures. So, I told her exactly what I thought and I upset myself and I know I upset my Heavenly Father.
Although I stand by what I said, I regret the way I said it. And you know what? I really thought I would feel better, but I don't. I feel like I left the high road for the brush in the ditch. I hate that ditch...
So, what do I do? She can't keep treating me the way that she does, and I am quickly running out of cheeks to turn.
It's been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day... Maybe I'll go to Australia...
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5 comments:
Hi sweetheart! Ok...after reading your blog I thought to myself "She needs a hug"...so consider yourself hugged. I lived with my mother-in-law for a while but because I was in HER house I respected her wishes. This needs to be the case in your home. Is there any gentle way of having a calm conversation with her? Call me...lets go out for a bit...take a deep breath...get on your knees...and know you are loved!!!
Lisa
Oh Rach! I've been there too. Looks as though your mother in law doesn't fully understand the depth of your selflessness and what you sacrificed to open up your home to her and nix all your vacation plans. Don't be too hard on yourself. I've been there too...the upside is, it won't change her son's mind, he will still love you with all his heart and continue to be your best friend. And afterall, that's really all that matters, right? You know what I do when I have these issues? I call my mom, and she tells me everything I do right, and how good I am. And she knows me better than anyone else's mom....... Love ya!
Oh Rachel - we should have come over!!!!! Would that have prevented it?!? Rachel - Damon loves you so much - I hope you can really talk to him and come to an agreement. You are a wonderful person. Please don't feel badly for anything you might have said. Heavenly Father understands too! Love you!!
Dang girl. I don't know how you are doin it! I'd rather deal with lonliness than someone annoying in my house.
Talk to DAMON!
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